Domestic Goddess my arse!

These are the recipes I'm good at... quick, simple, out of the store-cupboard and onto the plate fare. I never spend more than 30 minutes faffing in the kitchen. So there.

This will be my recipe & homemadey remedy diary.

If you have those 'OMG! It's lunchtime and all I've got is a parsnip and a packet of boil in the bag rice.' moments, then you're a kindred spirit and you know that bad planning is often the mother of great food. So welcome to fast slurpy soups and 'really?' salads made from what's left in the fridge.

Never, ever believe there isn't something wonderful to make from the last 3 ingredients in your kitchen. Unless those ingredients really are fairy liquid, eggshells and dead flies.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Low Carb Cauliflower Rice

Here's another quick entry for the low-carbers. I should confess that I don't like cauliflower but someone told me recently that you can grate the white florets and make a sort of cauliflower rice. Well I was too intrigued not to try it! Turns out you can - and it's jolly tasty tucker if you cook it like I do - with lots of butter...

Half a head of cauliflower is enough for two people.

Grate half a head of cauliflower. Melt a generous couple of knobs of butter in a large frying pan - or skillet if you've got one.

Sling in the cauliflower 'rice' and keep it moving so it doesn't fry so much as gently fluffle.

Add lots of black pepper and a twitch of salt.

That is all...

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Sweet potato gratey burger matey

Last night we had beef burgers from the butcher. (I warmly recommend you try your local butcher's burgers and saussies there is no comparision with the flaccid meat-pops you buy in the supermarket. So there!)

I flung together a swee potato rosti/tortilla that was so delicious I'm posting it here so I remember it next time. It's not really a rosti because it doesn't really go crisp but it isn't a tortilla either because you do grate the potato - I'm calling it a rostilla. You can call it Frankie.

 Warning: You will need two frying pans to flip the rostilla. Be bold my friends.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Rootty Toot Toot - Parsnip Soup

Right then, hang onto your blenders my friends because I've been experimenting. I've got a huge bowl full of  windfall crabbies as big as a small boy's head, from my 'not-mother-in-law's' tree and too much hummus in the fridge - oh and parsnips.

So you're being asked to witness an unholy culinary marriage here, it's as well you know that up front.

Three more things you should know about me.
  • I'm fearless.
  • When I was 6 I wanted to be a chemist.
  • Measuring things - not my strong suit.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Achooh! Mercy posting of killer cold remedy

If the seasonal presto changeo of the weather has left you with a horrid sniffle | help is at hand. Here’s my kill or maim cold rescue remedy. It does taste nasty, but the effects are nearly as good as Class A drugs.

Send someone out to get these goodies:
1 large clove of garlic (peel and slice)
nub of ginger (around the same size as chubby garlic clove, peel and slice)
juice of half a lemon
4 -8 whole black pepper corns
cinnamon stick (just use half of one)
chilli flakes (optional, so as many as you like)

Friday, 27 May 2011

Mean Bean Feast

The night before the Tesco chap is due is always a challenge round our house, and last night the fridge divvied up eggs, left over mashed sweetpotato and butternut squash and half an onion... Perfect for a whipped tortilla - but there wasn't a fresh bit of green in the place.

To the Freezer!
There nestled, under an emergency, bought pizza and a stack of quorn products (partner's eldest is a committed vegetarianist) I spotted a small bag of baby broad beans and another of soya beans... Hurrah hurrah - tonight we feast! If you think you don't like broadbeans - think again. I'm not talking about the monsterous things with horrid, milky blue-grey suits we used to get fed when we were kids. These are tender, baby greenies - that you shell before you scoff...

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Easy Peasy Spring Soup

After whining about a truly horrid 'bought' Winter Veggie soup this week - my great pal Kim, who is an infinitely superior cook, suggested I get seasonal and Go Freezer! So here for you is Kim's answer to fast food. The simplest of pea soups - now then pay attention, because Kim doesn't do measuring, so we'll have to work this out together...

You will definitely need:

A bag of frozen peas - I opted for garden peas but you could use Petits Pois and mine weighed @1kg.
A lemon - preferably unwaxed.
White or brown onion and/or a couple of garlic cloves.
Stock if you like (Kim doesn't specify - I use a bit of unsalted bouillon powder).
Litre of boiling water (you may need more or less and this makes a lot of soup so make your adjustments).

This is what I did...

I peeled and finely chopped a small brown onion. I figured  a red one might muck up the colour of my beautiful pea green soup, but if red's all you got - don't sweat it - well do, but don't ... sigh. I Sauted my onion in a little butter and olive oil (just use oil if you prefer, and this would be a good time to sling in a clove or two of garlic).

I boiled the kettle, opened the peas and ratatatated them into my gert, big pot with the rind of the lemon, pouring about a litre of boiling water in after them and a teaspoon of powdered stock.

In the meantime I made cheat's melba toast.

Toast your bread. Take a jolly big, scary sharp, knife and carefully split the toast in half so you have one toasty side and one untoasty side. Keep your hand flat to the board. Now spread loads of butter on the untoasty side so that no-one notices... and Tadah!

Back to the peas pot plot
After about 5 - 6 mins on a gentle rolling boil. I added the juice of the lemon and whizzed the soup up with my trusty handheld whizzeratorer. Slung it in a bowl with loads of black pepper and some salt - dolloped a blob of creme frais on the top and some toasted pine nuts* and scoffed it warm. If you can wait that long this will be peatastically fresh and delish when served cold - but I'd already made my toast.

Post Prandial Observations:

Getting the liquid to peas ratio right is a matter of practice and taste I reckon - if it's a bit thick you can knock it back with some water - but I wouldn't want to do too much of that last minute for fear of diluting the lovely pea-ey flavour.

*I always have a bowl of toasted pine nuts on the side and a tub of creme frais in the fridge - together they can make any soup taste fancy, also brrrrilliant mixed into rice and cheese. Uhh uhh uhh! Try it first.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

It's Tortilla Jim - but not as we know it...

Uber quick post on what to do with your left over 'bashies' (don't just limit yourself to spuds, sweet potatoe, butternut squash, any friendly root veg will all do splendidly and if you tried the low carb ideas I posted in February* and had leftovers sling them in too).

Eggs is eggs but these is eggselent eggs...

  • Use two eggs for every cup and half of mashed veg. Mix the eggs and mashies together.
  • Chop up  half an onion (red or brown is fine, but maybe slow cook the stronger brown cousins for a bit longer for sweetness hmm?), gently fry the lil' darlin's  in a good tablespoon of olive oil. 
  •  Now pour in the gloopy mash and eggs mixture and spread it into your pan without scrambling the eggs. In the meantime turn on your grill.
  • Cook the egg mix gently - you can draw some into the centre and angle the pan to run the mixture into the gaps - just like you're making a thick omlette - but don't fret too much because...
  • Pop the pan under the grill to finish the cooking.
This should be served with a huge dollop of mayonaise. You can also grate cheese on the top before you stick it under the grill - or you can add chunks of cheese like feta or taleggio or brie into the eggyveggie mixture.

I know you don't need me to tell you how to make this stuff. I'm just reminding you - how good it tastes!


* aw bless she really thinks someone reads this twaddle!

Monday, 21 February 2011

Anyway you like it. As long as it's mashed!

February's damp chill still has a grip on supper around our house. Most nights we cuddle ourselves up in a slow cooked stew or a big hearted soup for tea - shivering and longing for Spring - proper.

February is also usually the month I face facts about the toll of Christmas scoffing, New Year's failed resolutions and Valentine's chocfest - so I am invariably cutting out carbs, saying 'no thank-you matey' to the butter dish and torturing myself by deliberately looking at myself in the mirror, instead of skipping past my reflection doing the eyeball equivalent of 'la la la la la I can't hear you'....

So here for you are just a few of my recent experiments in low carb mash. Or guilt free bashies. So called because although they do have some starch and carby content - they are not nearly as carborific as spuds and and and - they are really, good for you...

Monday, 10 January 2011

Griddled Salmon with Sweet Potatoe Tax Mash

If like me, you've got to fill in your tax return online before the end of January and your activation code has deactivated - then you'll need a double whammy fix of brain and comfort food to help you face your demons.

This my friend will do the trick...